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A Few Cartoons for the Road
If you would like
to donate to help us keep this web site active and growing,
click on the button above. Much thanks! - Tony & Luella
The Best Years in Life Humor
Laughter is the Best Medicine
THIS In the Church Bulletin?
Heavens to Betsy! When you're spreading
God's word, it's important to pay
attention to commas and spelling and
proper phrasing. If you don't, you may
end up saying something other than what
you really intended. And sometimes the
result can be scandalous--or just funny
as all get out. The following are
excerpts from church bulletins
sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks On the
Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching
--At the evening service tonight, the
sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir
Suffer the little children
youth basketball team is back in action
Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation
hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ
--For those of you who have children and
don't know it, we have a nursery
--Sunday School: Children will be led in
sinning and Bible study.
The Power of Prayer
--Remember in prayer the many who are
sick of our community. Smile at someone
who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to
someone who doesn't care much about you.
--Don't let worry kill you. Let the
--Remember in prayer the many who are
sick of our church and community.
After the worship service...
--This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a
hymn sing in the park across from the
church. Bring a blanket and come
prepared to sin.
--Bertha Belch, a missionary from
Africa, will be speaking tonight at
Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha
Belch all the way from Africa.
--The ladies of the church have cast off
clothing of every kind. They may be seen
in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.
It's a chance to get rid of those things
not worth keeping around the house.
Don't forget your husbands.
--Ladies' Bible Study will be held
Thursday at 10 a.m. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall
after the B.S. is done.
--The pastor would appreciate it if the
ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles for the
pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Which Door Do I Use?
--The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will
meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the
--Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at
the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use large double door at the side
No Good Deed Will Go Unpunished
--Scouts are saving aluminum cans,
bottles, and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple
--Please place your donation in the
envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered.
How Much Money Should I Give?
--The associate minister unveiled the
church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up
Training Your Adopted Dog
On the first day, God created the dog
'Sit all day by the door of your house
and bark at anyone who comes in or walks
past. For this, I will give you a life
span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be
barking. How about only ten years and
I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the
monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make
them laugh. For this, I'll give you a
twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for
twenty years? That's a pretty long time
to perform. How about I give you back
ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow
'You must go into the field with the
farmer all day long and suffer under the
sun, have calves and give milk to
support the farmer's family. For this, I
will give you a life span of sixty
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough
life you want me to live for sixty
years.. How about twenty and I'll give
back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created humans
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your
life. For this, I'll give you twenty
But the human said: 'Only twenty years?
Could you possibly give me my twenty,
the forty the cow gave back, the ten the
monkey gave back, and the ten the dog
gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty
years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we
slave in the sun to support our family..
For the next ten years we do monkey
tricks to entertain the grandchildren...
And for the last ten years we sit on the
front porch and bark at everyone..
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this
valuable information.. I'm doing it as a
Tallywhacker Bush Bats and the Doo Doo Eating Dog
by Tony Isaacs
One weekend about 20 or so years ago, (my God, has it been that long?) my cousin
Jeff and I loaded up his son Jason, aged ten, and my son Sean aged eight, along
with Jeff's black Rotweiler named Sam and off we went to four-wheel it
through the marshy bottoms to camp out on Jeff's 43 acres of land that lies on
both sides of the South Sulphur River. A few years later we built a cabin, but
in those days our campsite consisted pretty much of tents, tarps and a wooden
electrical cable spool that we used as a table
How cheap coconut tanning oil and a
swarm of angry bees turned a family vacation upside down.
by Tony Isaacs
Have you ever been to Destin, Florida?
I love the white sand beaches, moderate climate and beautiful clear blue ocean
there, although it's a much more touristy kind of place than it was about 30
years ago when I first went there with my father, step mother, half-sister, and
other family members. I remember that we checked into this one and a half star
motel right on the beach, next door to a new circular tower motel which had a
revolving restaurant on the top. The motion made my step-mother nauseous - which proved to be a minor irritation compared to what was to come.
For the rest of this
rib-rocking, hilarious and mostly true
Did Dinosaurs Cause Their Own Ex-stink-shun?
Many people have
theorized that flatulence from cows,
and the resultant methane, is a
contributor to global warming.
Which made me think about all the
billions of dinosaurs which once
existed and the relative size
difference between dinosaurs and
cows. Do you suppose they
might have had contests, the way
some modern day Neanderthals do?
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