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The Revenge of the Jalapeno Toilet Paper
by Tony M. Isaacs
(The Best Years in Life) For many years I used to go camping with family and friends on practically every major holiday. On the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years holidays, our camping outings usually began as soon as we concluded family meals and get-togethers and, more often than not, we would leave the family festivities and head down to a cabin we built deep in the woods on the banks of the South Sulphur river to camp out with just the guys.
Some people called those outings "hunting", but I thought of them more as "adult Halloween" - because we would get all dressed up in our spiffy stealthy hunting outfits and then proceed to build a blazing fire, cook up all kinds of tasty and smelly treats like chili and sausages and steaks and stews and buffalo wings and you name it, drink too much, play loud rock or country music, howl at the moon with the coyotes . . . and pretty much run all the game animals off for miles around. The only things that usually got killed were several twelve-packs of beer and more brain cells than I now want to think about! But it was a male-bonding annual ritual kind of thing that went on for about 30 years or so and we had way too much fun - sometimes at the expense of one another. And sometimes fate stepped in to lend a helping hand. Such as the time I remember as "the revenge of the jalapeno toilet paper".
You see, my cousin Jeff, who actually owned the land we camped on and who is a
world class prankster so long as the prank isn't pulled on him, always liked to
harass anyone who happened to have the misfortune of needing to use
the outdoor toilet whenever he was nearby. You never knew when a firecracker or
gun was going to go off just outside the little building or a horse apple or rock get
thrown into the side of the building with a loud BOOM, a lifelike snake get
poked under the edge of the building, or the building suddenly shaken mightily
accompanied by wild animal sounds. On this one fateful weekend, revenge came
sweetly and quite by accident.
And to this day, he doesn't know the real story of the jalapeno toilet paper.
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About the author
Tony Isaacs is a natural health advocate and researcher and the author of books and articles about natural health including "Cancer's Natural Enemy". Mr. Isaacs articles are featured at Natural News, the Health Science Institute's Healthiertalk website, the Crusador online, AlignLife, the Cancer Tutor, the American Chronicle and several other venues. Mr. Isaacs also has The Best Years in Life website for baby boomers and others wishing to avoid prescription drugs and mainstream managed illness and live longer, healthier and happier lives naturally. In addition, he hosts the Yahoo Oleandersoup Health group of over 2000 members and the CureZone "Ask Tony Isaacs - Featuring Luella May" forum.